I think I’ve said it before but while in Bible College. I didn’t study, pay attention or learn as much as I should. I got credit for prior college so I graduated early. I also backslid a bit and didn’t grow the way I should. I know I’m not where I could be if I had really put in the effort I should have. I really have no idea why God has asked me to be a missionary/preacher/pastor considering how little I know. Yet He has.
I often say that deputation isn’t about money but about learning what God has for me to learn and meeting the people I need to meet. However, I still feel inadequate with my knowledge and pray I will never say anything dumb or Biblically wrong. I also know that as a Pastor, I can never expect my people to rise higher than I do in their knowledge or standards. I know I have a responsibility to study to show myself approved.
Yet, I still feel like a little kid sometimes and am so fearful of getting scolded. I’ve gotta remember that deputation is about learning and faithfully do what God has for me to do. I’ve gotta stop worrying about things I can’t control if I’m doing what God wants me to do to the best of my abilities.